And So It Begins…

fightAs you should – hopefully – be aware, I have rounded up a load of media bound Nazis and put them into the old abandoned Skaterz! rink round the corner from the new Loloffice. Hoping for an epic bout of fighting I was somewhat dismayed that many of them have been standing in front of Downfall Hitler listening attently as he rants about the Jew. Time to put a stop to this nonsense with the help of my old friend Nigel…

Nigel is one of those people you just want to smack in the face, he opens his mouth, you close your fist – the perfect guy to rile up some latent hostility in my batch of Media Nazis* He popped into the rink this afternoon and managed to get The Great Escapes friendly Nazi, Von Luger, to throw a punch at Cyborg Hitler… not the best of moves granted, but at least we have a fight!

Cyborg-Hitler VS Von-Luger

First off Von Luger throws a baseball at Cyborg Hitler, hitting him square in the back of the neck – sadly Cyborg Hitler wasn’t utilising Sontaran technology else that would have been HIGHLY effective. Instead it made kind of a clang sound and the mechanised boss man turned to see Von Luger wishing he could order some guards to drag the rapidly ranting Fuhrer off to the cooler. Cyborg Hitler sneered at Von Luger and gave him ten seconds to put the side arm he had drawn from his hip down… with less than ten seconds to comply some other jovial Nazis suggested that he had better do as he was told, but even after putting the weapon down the Cyborg was still barking out orders to comply, with lethal force used if no compliance was actioned.

Click.

Whirr.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! etc…

Von Luger falls onto a model of New Delta City, and a nation of 80’s movie goers starts emailing me regarding some flagrant plagerism.

No apologies from this Robocop fan!

After the blood mist clears Von Luger is scooped into a bucket and fed to Col. Herzog. Cyborg Hitler twitches a couple of times then turns back to his original conversation about how he would never have let that Jew from Popworld go anywhere near Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Fight over.

Luckily the scuffle did stir up a little bloodlust in a couple of the other combatants, with the Medal of Honor Nazi leering at Tom Cruise’s Von Stauffenberg with those souless pixelly eyes… could round two be just around the corner?

*No not the Murdoch family

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