In the long running history of one-upmanship in gaming Twin Galaxies has stood as the defining authority on score-keeping. If there were to be a UK branch it would probably be located in the old set that they used for Treasure Hunt with Anneka Rice and have Patrick Moore, Richard Whiteley and Magnus Magnusson in permanant postition on the Council of the Scoreboard, but sadly we don’t have that – not because two thirds of the Council are dead though. One name is synonymous with ‘success’* in the world of competative high score gaming and that man is Billy Mitchell and yet his massive achievement recently was accepted with all the warmth and congratulatory celebration as a Nazi war criminal turning up at a Bar Mitzvah wearing a panda costume and singing the hits of Jedward while wanking over a sleeping old person’s glazed expressionless face.Last weekend Billy Mitchell was due to be inaugerated into the International Videogame Hall of Fame and while there he casually beat the high score record on Donkey Kong – even going so far as to deliberately quit out after beating the score:
Mitchell evidently quit his Donkey Kong game immediately after beating Chien’s mark. Asked why, Mitchell said: “Some say I’m being cocky. Some say I’m being lazy. I say, I’m being Billy Mitchell.”
Not content with that achievement he then ran through Donkey Kong Jr and beat the record on that too.
While it is easy to hate Mitchell – even with those lucious locks of hair cascading over his shoulders like liquid sex itself – it is even harder for many gamers to complement him. I challenge you to find a single article online which features no comments of a critical nature. I couldn’t.
As a fan of the admittedly keenly edited documentary King of Kong I have to say that Mitchell certainly carries the mantle of ‘bad boy’ of gaming well, but I cannot let this genuine achievement go by without uttering some words of congratulations, so ‘well done’.
Now if only they could make a King of Kong 2 – The Return of the Quarter Kid I’d be a happy chap indeed.
* If you count having your own Hot Sauce brand an ‘achievement’ of course.