The Lolocaust ‘Office’ has been quite lonely recently as one of us has gone to Moscow to negotiate surrender to our formerly-Communist overlords. While bored yesterday I went for a walk to Pets R Uz looking for a pet to guard the place while we attend events – stopping those fucking rabid Jim Sterling fans from doing a poo in our toaster again – and keeping me company while I play scary games. I considered a cat at first but figured it wasn’t brave enough to face up to a raging internet fanboy so instead we have adopted a Velobsteraptor! His name in Vinny and he is currently six-weeks old, so we are weaning him on a diet of old Master System instruction manuals and mushed up Smurfs. He seems to like it but it is hard to tell given that he doesn’t have the ability to smile, but he does clack out a great cover of the Terminator 2 theme. So I hope you will welcome Vinny to the team.