*Tap…. Tap* Is This Thing On…?

Even if it isn’t on, I’m still going to talk!

Right, well, what happened? I mentioned a few things you could expect and none of which appeared. The tl;dr version of that is… I enjoy playing games too much to write about them. I also got off my lazy arse and started cycling all over my local city. Of which I have pictures. Said pictures you will stare at until you appreciate them. Another time though. So that’s what happened, I started to lose weight and played too many sweet games. However I’m here now and that’s the important thing. I’m also not in Chernobyl despite thinking I was, but really I was just playing a game. I was in Moscow though, that wasn’t a dream and I have pictures to prove it. I’m also here to talk serious business. Of which the internet is full of, so read on to make sure you don’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity…

I’ve got a few scribblings of a madman that are almost ready to upload if I actually stop playing games. Interestingly the only reason I’m writing this is because my gaming mouse broke after three long years of manhandling, inappropriate molestation and Team Fortress 2 RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE upon which even Peter Puppy while scared would run a mile. Oh yeah, and it might also have something to do with the fact that Duke Nukem Forever is coming out and there’s a playable demo in the wild.

So while I write up my special piece on why Duke is great, why I hope console fags don’t ruin it, why Duke Nukem Forever is going to suck due to console fags that don’t understand what the Duke is about, why the general media are hyping it incorrectly because most media sites are console fags who weren’t even born when the original Duke Nukem came out….. I’d like to take this opportunity to once again say, as I often do about things in the gaming industry, IN YOUR FACE ZOMBIE JESUS AND ALL YOU NON-BELIEVERS THAT LAUGHED AT ME, EVERY YEAR, WHEN ASKED WHAT GAME I WAS HIGHLY ANTICIPATING FOR THE COMING YEAR! Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!

That is all.

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