Fun Whilst Fingering

Let it not be said that we avoid certain subjects here at The Lolocaust – Hell, we’d even use a photo of Ian Beale in a hot tub to illustrate a feature about iPod apps – and as of right now we will be looking at iPod apps in the vain hope of recommending some great titles and deriding those deserving of derision. This week we will be focussing upon Pirate’s Mind, Veggie Samurai and Pix ‘N Love Rush. So without further ado use those app friendly fingers to hit the jump.

Pirate’s Mind, from M80 Games, is in essence a pirate memory game that is a little less piratey than your usual pirate memory game. It is less piratey as it features no major pirate vocal effects so that you don’t have to endure endless ‘yarrrrs’ or ‘mateys’ to get through the gameplay. The concept is a simple one offering a grid of coins and you have to find matching types for coin – bronze, silver or gold – in increasing amounts where possible. This is helped by the crab coins which offer a sneaky peak of what is where and these can be used mid turn to maximise effectiveness. There are two modes of play, Normal – which sets a time limit on the game – and Marathon which offers time bonuses and penalties depending on how the game is played. What you get for your money is a simple puzzle/matching game that passes time very well and has all the essentials of an app of this kind, namely good design, responsive gameplay and an addicitive style that can make a simple five minute trip to the crapper turn into the sort of event that results in a poo-lactyte forming from your crusty dry anus which would be fine were it not for the now frequent taxes upon natural occurring phenomena which can be turned into tourist traps. We really cannot recommend Pirate’s Mind enough and at 59p it really is a steal!

Download Pirate’s Mind

If imitation is the most sincere form of flattery then the developers of the mighty Fruit Ninja must be so flattered by the recent release of Veggie Samurai that they are blushing like a fifteen year old virgin who just caught sight of an old woman’s boobs when she bent over to pick something from the bottom shelf at Lidl. Veggie Samurai makes no attempt to hide away from the fact that it is little more than a savoury flavour version of the same game, or is it? On the surface yes, definitely, but dig a little deeper and you find a game that is far more considered than the eponymous original with features such as the ability to chop the veg more than once. This may not sound like much of a big deal in itself, but it does add an awful lot of opportunity for better scores and more exciting gameplay as you decide whether the risk is worth the reward, do you spam the screen with finger swipes and risk poisoning? My one main criticism of Fruit Ninja was the fact that one strike on a bomb and it was game over, whereas Veggie Samurai offers a little redemption from this in the form of second chance coins which massively affect the length of the game – which can only be a good thing I assure you. If you like to spend your bank holiday weekends running around shopping centres dressed as a vegetable hating samurai chasing down students in giant carrot costumes – or just enjoy fun and frantic finger flicking games then Veggie Samurai comes highly recommended!

Download Veggie Samurai

I could spend the next fifteen minutes selling you the benefits of being an owner of the epicly great Pix’n Love Rush but to be honest anything I say is overshadowed by the game itself, so I will let the following images sell it to you themselves.

Click To Biggify

Do you need any further persuading? Really? I doubt that you do… For those that do here is one final picture to seal the deal:

The game does not feature, nor promote Jade Goody. In fact it is the perfect anti-dote to no-name ‘celebrity’ featuring nothing paparazzi friendly whatsoever. No heiress sucking a guy off in night vision, no ‘normal’ person stroking a crocodile. Nope it’s pure and simple pixel fun and retro joy, so download it and smile a smile of smug self-satisfaction that for at least two minutes you are not a cunt.

Download Pix’N Love Rush

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