Reviews No-One Wants or Asked For: Deal of No Deal (Nintendo DS)

In what could be a ‘Brand New’ feature here at The Lolocaust we present ‘Reviews No-One Wants of Asks For’ which will essentially review old, out-dated or rubbish games for no real benefit whatsoever. It could be an artistic comment on the futility of progress and the failure, generally of Internet based reviews – alternatively it could be an effort to come up with some content other than photographs…

…it’s the latter.

When it comes to mobile gaming I prefer games which fall into the following two categories:
1) Games that can occupy 5 minutes.
2) Games that suck me in like a black hole of gaming goodness.

Now Animal Crossing falls into the latter, and Deal or No Deal definitely falls into the former. As a fan of the show, and a fan of category one I felt it my duty to get this game on release (yes, feel free to pity me).

Right lets get this right, from the beginning, if you are the sort of person who finds the thought of a cartoon Noel Edmonds talking to you in speech bubbles frightening, then this is not the game for you. In fact the whole game is basically a cross between the Deal Or No Deal Television show, The Beano and the bonus round from Tapper (more on that later).

Now the concept of the game is near identical to the show, pick a numbered box, and then eliminate boxes one at a time, trying to avoid the big numbers and finding the smaller numbers. But herein lies the issue. What makes DOND a success is the personality of it’s contestants and as such taking away the hook leaves you with cartoony players who seemingly have two animations, when they reveal a big number they cringe, and for a low number they go all Gazza on you. See this is when the game becomes annoying for the first time. Lucy, John… all those ‘great’ players are there as cartoons, but that’s it. They might as well not be there at all, but would a row of red boxes justify the full price tag? No.

Then there’s the Banker… now this part is done well, Noel relays the Banker’s thoughts, and an offer pops up… but as it is not real money on offer there is little incentive to make a good deal early, instead holding out for the big money to get a good high score…

Then at the end of the game it all goes a little off track, with a ‘mini-game’ of Find the Mug.

Yup, you heard me… “Find the Mug”.

A mug is placed in a Red Box and mixed up with a couple of other boxes, just like the shaken can bonus round in Tapper, only with less bandits and beer.

If you guess correctly THREE TIMES you get a bigger offer from the Banker. BUT you get this game even if you deal early, so effectively winning the mini-game loses you even more.

And then that’s it, a summary screen tells you what you could have won, but with no bull pulling a speedboat…

So yeah, a five minute game, ideal for those awkward moments where you need a distraction, at the bus stop perhaps, or maybe when you are told a relative has died.

The game isn’t bad, but it isn’t good either, it’s a perfect example of that fake word ‘meh’. Although I’d categorise it as ‘bleh’ probably.

The OFFICIAL Lolocaust Rating (The only one that is ACTUALLY TRUE) – 5 out of 10


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