You Bought “Vaseline”, Amazon Customers Bought…

Sometimes when I’m bored and super-low I like to look something up on Amazon and see what odd product that other customers that bought that initial product also went on to purchase…

Tonight…

Vaseline!

You lucky bastards…

So, right yes…

Fair enough, pretty standard piece of household periphery. But what would the people of the Internet have opted to also purchase?

Place your bets now, then scroll down for the ‘thrilling’ conclusion to the game.

Any bright ideas?

Nearly there…

So.

Product One

DUCT TAPE! THE RAPIST’S RESTRAINT OF CHOICE!

Guess you might need some lube.

Unless you were one of those ‘sexy’ rapists, who weren’t rapists until a newspaper offered to pay for your ‘traumatic story’.

Product Two

Polypropylene Baster – Note ‘NOT’ a “Turkey Baster” Just a Polypropylene one… does this mean you can only baste plastic birds?

But obviously… alongside the Vaseline this is a damning comment on the state of fertility treatment on the NHS.

Obviously.

And finally… what horrid, torturous product would our potential rapist – with a non-functioning/too-small-to-penetrate penis opt to go for lastly…?

Product Three

Positively Chilling!

So there you have it, Amazon is little more than a pervert’s paradise.

Like you didn’t know that already…

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