Blast From The Past – Original Lolocaust Future-Tech Concepts

When the Lolocaust was all new and shiny – with it’s pimped up orange and black colour scheme, which replaced the harsh black and white Consoles and Conkers Blog – Scarred Star and Nerfie came up with some brilliant pieces of work – mostly involving a shoddily put together ‘blueprint’ for a future version of the then current-gen tech.

Well while traipsing through the Internet with my detective hat on I have uncovered these pictures in their – almost complete – glory.

Hit the jump to go back in time to March 2008…. (Feel free to add your own wibbly-wobbly time travel noises as you click through)

So first up we have the ‘Wii2’ as designed by Nerfie:

World Exclusive Nintendo News!!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags I love melons, I’m great, Llamas R sexeh,nintendo, Toast, Wii on March 8, 2008 by Nerf Dermer

Yes, here it is folks! Lolocaust are the first to bring you this ground breaking news! I have been given access to an image which has been scanned in and comes straight from Nintendo of Japan’s Console Design Department…. without further a do… I present… the Wiis replacement! <drumroll>

I am told this replacement model will be able to make toast. This is to aid in the interactivity offered by such games as cooking Mamma. This will also entice children into eating a healthy breakfast in the morning! Something Jamie Oliver has been harping on about for some time now!

Using the Wiimote2 the user will be able to ‘draw’ designs onto the toast thus creating fun and interactive methods of not only making, but showing off the incredi-tasticle nature of toast. You and/or your children can rejoice at now being able to toast pictures of cocks onto bread! See below for an artists impression of the kind of output one could expect from this amazing machine!

Brilliant eh?

The next bit of tech to see Star’s  reworking was the PlayStation 3:

PS3 Mk2

Posted in PS3, Retardness, Sony, remakes with tags Paint, Redesign, Sony on March 8, 2008 by Scarred star

Nerfie’s new Wii design was simply sensational, Forward thinking. multi-purpose and trend setting.

Being the fair and Unbiased blog we are I have decided to design the new PS3 for Sony.

As you can see it keeps all the main features of the current PS3 but redesigns to to make it more pleasing to the eye.

Next up was the new iPod – keeping a classic feel but adding new CUTTING-EDGE – not like scissors – FEATURES!

Remade: Ipod

Posted in GeekyRetardnessappleremakes with tags , on March 9, 2008 by Scarred star

Following in Nerfies foot steps once again ( read: Ripping off) i have decided to put my creative mind at work onto the ipod)

Obviously the last console to be ‘Pimped’ would have to have been the Xbox 360, and boy it was Modded Splendidly by Nerfie:

Behold! The Mk2 360 with Blu-Ray.

Posted in Free Stuff, Xbox 360, remakes with tags I hate Fish., Jesus, Llamaon March 9, 2008 by Nerf Dermer

ROLL UP! ROLL UP! Be the first to witness this marvel of modern engineering! The adeptly re-branded Nukebox 360, takes it’s name from the amazing way it powers its self AND provides power to the rest of the house! But wait there’s more! If you do not use the power made from the new Nukebox 360, your chosen electricity company will buy the excess energy from you! Overtime your Nukebox would start to earn you money! Incredible I hear you shout! Oyfg I’ve got a boner I hear you cry! What does this magical beast of physics defying and gargantuan bukket of cake greatness look like!? Well fret no more as I have been given a spunktastically secret sneak peak!

Key points!

  • Mini-Nuclear Power Station with Uranium Cooling Tower, which provides the power to the 360 and also your house/the main electricity grid. Also note the new power-back-to-grid technology™
  • A new Disc loading Bay with a nuclear green glow; to compliment the mini power station.
  • New radioactive yellow colouring scheme, and this time it really is shaped to the tried, tested and laid down mathematical laws of what something should look like if it is 360 degrees in shape.
  • New Cooling System! A chimney is included to help cool the insane hardware of the Nukebox 360, but with the added ability of including a built in furnace! You too can enjoy the delights of freshly baked bread after a long hard Call of Duty 4 pwnage session.
  • New and improved Red Rings which act as a temperature guage and also a timer! Never overcook or under cook your precious space muffins again!

So there you have it – the original images – and text side by side for the first time in over THREE YEARS!

Like ’em? Want to have a go at creating one yourself? Go for it and share it in the comments box.

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