When they are not trolling their friends on the Internet, Star and Nerf ensure that bad things happen for their own amusement, but even I was stunned when I realised that as a result of their meddling – and living up to that age-old adage – God will indeed kill a small fluffy creature if you troll your buddies.
To see what died for their sins, hit the jump…So, yeah, last week the news broke that a baby bunny rabbit was born without ears in Germany – which has had a run of ‘celebrity’ animals since Paul the Octopus started ‘predicting’ football results and continued with Knut the Polar Bear’s exploits – at a small zoo in Limbach-Oberfrohna in Saxony. They named the super-cute mutant Til – and it was the good kind of mutant rabbit with no ears, not like that super-evil freaky one caused by radiation in Fukushima in Japan, oh no, totally different – and the world cried out in gleeful joy.
Obviously the world’s press needed to film and photograph Mother Nature’s next mistake, for use in a million memes, and with cameras come cameramen, sadly one of them was not as careful as he could have been, and as a DIRECT RESULT of my colleagues shenanigans, fate unravelled for little Til the Earless Bunny:
The future had looked so bright for tiny Til, a baby rabbit born without ears three weeks ago in a small zoo in Limbach-Oberfrohna in Saxony, eastern Germany. Earless rabbits are very rare, and that factor combined with his cuteness would surely have made him a media celebrity, especially in Germany, which has a history of worshipping furry baby animals.
But then fate struck. Til was meant to be presented to the press at a news conference on Thursday and the zoo had invited a TV camera team to film him lolloping about happily ahead of the big day. Here is what happened next in the words of Uwe Dempewolf, the director of the zoo, who was still shaken when SPIEGEL ONLINE telephoned him on Wednesday afternoon.
‘We Are All Shocked’
“We are all shocked. During the filming, the cameraman took a step back and trod on the bunny,” Dempewolf said. “He was immediately dead, he didn’t suffer. It was a direct hit. No one could have foreseen this. Everyone here is upset. The cameraman was distraught.”
“We had planned a news conference for tomorrow and we wanted to market it via the media because rabbits without ears are pretty rare. But now this unfortunate event has occurred. The other five bunnies are right as rain. It is regrettable that he was the one who got stepped on.”
Til’s body will now be frozen while zoo officials decide whether to have him stuffed.
Now I’m not saying that the actions of my colleagues really had any effect on the fate of that rabbit, but I am saying that I can’t say that it *didn’t* either, and so erring on the side of caution I am going to say that this rabbit died as a result of their web-based trolling.
You evil, evil pair of meanies.