When The Lolocaust Met THE Mature Gamer Podcast Folk

If you follow me on Twitter or listen in to the Lolocaust live shows you will have heard me mention The Mature Gamer Podcast folks on frequent occasions. Every week Kev, Steve and Aidy shoot the proverbial on their podcast, and are developing a rather splendid community through their website and forums. I’ve been following Kev and Steve’s exploits in the podcast world since the early days of sausage rating, tower climbing and beer sampling ‘cast, Best Thing From and am just as big a fan of their new show that is sitting strong on iTunes as one of the most popular shows of it’s kind around. So what happens when the Lolocaust extends an invite to The Mature Gamer Podcast folk to visit the flat? Well, they accept, that’s what. Would be a rubbish article if they said no (no promises that it won’t be rubbish either way).

When the invite first went out it was met with great enthusiasm, finally two of the best sites on the Internet (snork!) were going to clash! Kev and Steve (no Aidy as he was busy being blamed for something elsewhere) promised to visit the Lolocaust flat, and while I spent the morning clearing up after our pet Velobsteraptor and putting up some Jubilee bunting on the branch that broke our front room window. They pulled up and were immediately presented with a complimentary Crunchie bar – well why not? – and ushed into the basket lift that allows entry to the flat without negotiating a broken set of stairs, that usually is conquered with grace and finesse, something I suspect Kev and Steve were incapable of. DalekSex had popped out to buy some new limpets for our 2012 Summer Limpet celebrations, and had been held up thanks to an old lady in front of him buying seventy-four jars of moths, using only two pence pieces! So annoyingly I was hosting alone, but it didn’t matter, I popped the kettle on, gave Steve a children’s book to keep him busy and we started to discuss things rather randomly.

It would be impossible to list everything was discussed, as we moved from subject to subject like an ADHD-addled Jeremy Paxman, but particular highlights were as follows:

Steve Versus Fruit

By way of convoluted conversations we found ourselves listening in open-mouthed, stunned silence as Steve relayed his on-going struggle with bacteria and disease. He doesn’t open doors, he prefers to kick them open, and he can’t eat most fruit without washing it first. The usual suspects play their part in his plight, the grape, the apple and the plum, but there’s also a rogue element in there, a random fruit that caused the aforementioned stunned silence, the orange!

Yes, you read that correctly, he washes his oranges prior to eating them, despite not washing a banana.

IT COMES IN A PROTECTIVE CASING!

Ah well, it was very amusing, and left Steve feeling like the freak that HE MOST DEFINITELY IS!

ALSO! It has made me spender longer than is healthy in my local supermarket fruit and veg section wondering if “Steve Would Wash It?” so as a result we have decided to incorporate it as a feature into the Lolocaust live shows, might as well get three minutes out of his borderline-insane ramblings.

Kev Is Surprisingly Hostile Towards Nerdy Gamers

Something else that came out of left field was the realisation that Kev is very much of the new-gen gaming variety. He explained that he only really got into gaming in this generation and while aware of older games and systems, he is neither in a rush to learn what he’s been missing or in much of a mind to tolerate misty-eyed reminiscing. I think this is a good thing, and probably why the Mature Gamer Podcast has that vibe, as he is a nerdy gamer, but not influenced by much from the past, which is Aidy’s role – with Steve filling out the middle ground, that has probably been scrubbed within an inch of it’s life with bleach.

And Finally…

Kev Wishes He Was a Proper Fairytale Giant

Not much in the way of explaination here, he’s tall already, and while at some convention he missed an opportunity to look like a proper Hagrid. He genuinely seemed down that it didn’t work out. Awwww…

I could go into detail about the amazing challenge my Sonic the Hedgehog/Where’s Wally hybrid book provided to colour blind Kev, or how they put a lot of effort into reviewing my local butcher’s sausage rolls – “Surprising choice of pastry…” – but for the vast majority you really had to be there. And to prove that they were indeed there, here, there, we had a picture taken.

Note the Jubilee Bunting and decoration, not, as I hastened to point out, proof of membership of the BNP.

I’m not sure they believed me.

As I rushed them out of the door – as I’d forgotten another appointment that day – Kev tried to be a giant again, Steve carried off the DVD and complimentary Crunchie bars and hands were shaken. We never got around to recording a live mini-show with them, but we did agree to get them on as guests at a later date – yahoo – hopefully with Aidy in tow so that I may blame some failings on him.

They always say never meet people off of the Internet, yet with only one exception I’ve never had a problem. Kev and Steve were great fun to talk with, as you should well know if you’ve listened to their podcast, and it was an honor to welcome them to the Lolocaust flat (Not that they actually came to the flat, we broke into a dead old lady’s house and used it as a mock flat in case they were spied sent by Jim Sterling to steal all of our Jaffa Cakes).

There may not have been the suggested horse-back sexual antics, but I look forward to meeting up with these gents again soon. If only to see how Steve reacts when I give him a kiwi fruit.

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