Blips! – The First Book of Video Game Funnies #5 – Stroke of Genius

Hey readers – I didn’t expect to see you at the lolocaust today! I thought you’d be home studying for the big history test. What’s the point of studying when the highest score you’ll get is FAIL.

Well readers, we can be here! Just here! Happily reading the musings of a former-gaming-baker and his tales of tearing apart every facet of a vintage videogame joke-book, deconstructing a literary turd with the grace, tact and relevance of Paul Weller’s barber.

Check this out….

Apart from the fact the the background appears to be filled with the cries of Viz’s Finbarr Saunders (woop, eeee, spoit, dit dit, glup glup glup, wooooo, pook pook, oink) there appears to be a major issue with the scoring system.

To further pick desperately at the rotten comedy carcass like a sarcastic Marabou stalk, one has to pay close attention to the retarded score progression going from 6 Million to 212 Billion in the space of four sentences, one can only assume that “Mark” is either an “1337 H4X0R” or is playing a precursor to the modern swarm-em-up that used to plague my nightmares and XBL leader-board.

Here it is again….

With hindsight, it’s easy to dismiss “100” being the highest score possible. The modern phenomenon of juking statistics or grades should not pass us by. From 2012 expect a series of symbols suffixing Xbox360 shoot-em-up scores, just so PS3 owners can brag about their game format being tougher and more “hardcore”.

I could go on about how this in no way reflects a fair and balanced scoring and reward system. (No – ed)

Ultimately there is nothing funny to see here. So please move along. Move along now. Else you’ll suffer a stroke like this guy. Poor fellow.

Once again. This is me. This is you…. Go look in the mirror again for the second week running.

The hacking stroke-victim character has just realised that this is the pinnacle of his career. He’s so depressed, even his glasses are down-turned into a frown.

*sigh*

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