Let me tell you something about myself. I have an enormous penchant. A enormous penchant for arcade RPGS. And I have a particularly massive, throbbing penchant for the side scrollers, such as Cadash, Dragon Buster and Bikkuri Man World (aka Wonderboy in Monster Land). So when I saw and endless side on action RPG with retro graphics on the front page of the App Store for a dollar? Sheeeeet, man. Brother didn’t even wait to roll down the window fo’ he pulled the trigger. I mean, a side on endless retro RPG on iOS? That’s got to be the shit, amirite?
No. It doesn’t. In fact, it’s fucking appalling. In fact, given my time again, I would go and replay Faxanadu and Link’s Adventure rather than spend a lonely penny on this grindy, sub-freeware shite.
Here Endeth The Lesson. (I’m posting this on Sunday morning, just to give that joke context for those of you who don’t yet receive an email alert every time I blow my nose. I which case, Hi! How you doing? LAAAAAADIES.