There are loads of great examples of how to build a successful freemium model out there. Zombie Cafe gives you a fun game which is more fun if you pay for it. Nimble Quest and Clash of Clans give you a time consuming game where you can pay to cut corners. Candy Crush asks that you either pay for the content or ensure that two other people are playing. With so many examples of how to do it in a good and fair way, then, you have to scratch your head at how Zynga – to all intents and purposes the inventor of the freemium boom – seem to struggle with it so badly.
The Respawnables is a fun little light multiplayer combat game in the mould of Team Fortress and an ultra-neat showcase for using touch screen controls for a mainstream title. You know what, though? I don’t care, because unlocking a full Ghostbusters uniform and proton pack costs the best part of twenty quid, and that’s with the discount for buying the whole lot. The Men In Black set costs twenty five quid, with discount, and you have to buy the Neuralizer separately!
If that doesn’t bother you, you might have a blast with the game. I’ll never know, I deleted it because having it on my iPad made the gorilla glass feel greasy to the touch, like the black chitinous exoskeleton of a Zynga executive. The Respawnables wins the title of the second Scalliest App that Sex has talked about, after My Little Pony and its seventy quid Princess Trollestia. Disgusting.