Find Found Footage, It Is Pro’Found’

Mr Biffo is best known for being the genius responsible for the BEST content on Teletext. Conversely the thing he has created that may well be BEST known currently is the Pudsey the dog movie. Don’t hold that against him, if I were given the chance to write a film about a dog with the vocal stylings of David Walliams I would take that gig in a shot. I would then, no doubt, ruin the job by insisting that every line of dialogue was delivered in the style of Bill Shatner having a difficult stool movement, BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME!

So the Internet is divided by people who ‘know’ Biffo for his Digitiser guff and them what know what a dog was.


On September the 10th Mr Biffo will unleash his Found Footage upon the world, dear reader, and you owe it to yourself to avoid the horrors that lie within enjoy it! There will be goujons. Beautiful, dry goujons.

I am honoured to have been a supporter of Biffo’s Kickstarter campaign (Hell, I even bought a Digitiser tee in a size that was smaller than I wear, but still wore which led to someone comparing my torso to that of a deceased elephant seal bobbing around in a hot tub) and will be attending the Premiere event in September with my erstwhile colleague and occasional lover, Dr Hamhock. Having been a backer I have seen dozens of teasing pictures and slow motion videos of people falling over and now I still only feel about three per cent prepared for the madness that is to follow. You can try to prepare yourself by watching the Found Footage Awakening, which for convenience sake – and to fill out this article with DAZZLING MULTIMEDIA ELEMENTS  – is posted below these very words…


So, given that Biffo is a creative type of proven renown, he wanted to do something special to finish the series and he has gathered together the best and brightest that history has to offer, like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, but without a time travelling phone ‘booth’*.


Violet Berlin – The person I wished was my big sister, and still do.

Andy “Nam Rood” Wear – The man responsible for me loving the word

Dave “Games Animal” Perry – The legend AND the unwitting creator of me as a web writer.

Consolevania hosts Rab Florence and Ry McLeod – hosts of Consolevania

Stuart Ashen – He who shops at Poundland

Larry Bundy Jr – Someone I have sort of known for years, thanks to Dave Perry

Paul Gannon – Probably not the guy off of Zelda, but loves Ghostbusters

Chris Coltrane – Provider of news for idiotic types

So, with a bunch of VHS tapes from a car boot sale and some editing software Biffo has created a monster, but a great monster like Godzilla in the mid sixties when he was punching King Kong and Ebirah, not a horrible monster like Fred Talbot.

* I hate the term phone booth, why can’t they be called La Cabina, conjuring up horrific images of Spanish men slowly dying in a warehouse?


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